I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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