Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Go christen that room with your naked body.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
