Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
