I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
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just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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