I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
