1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
