I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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