Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
