bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
