So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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