Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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