dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
