Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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