you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
