Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
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You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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