I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
try to milk me bitch
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
