i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
