There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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