Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
