At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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