i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
