I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize