It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
