is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
