i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
