I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
