She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
