I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
