can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
