I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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