I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
