YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
