Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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