On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
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its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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