I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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