I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
