i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
