the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
