i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
