That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
