True but thats because hes a fetus.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
