I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
