Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize