I just made out with a guy for $7.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
