More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
