apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There r osticjed everywhere
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
