I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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