It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
