where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
