So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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