Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
