How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
