Duck Duck Cougar?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
