Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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