And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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