did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
