Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
