so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
