and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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